Caption contest #2
December 26, 2007
Get those creative juices flowing! Come up with an appropriate caption and put it in the comments! The winner, chosen by a panel of distinguished judges, will receive a one-year membership in the Liberal Party, valued at five dollars.
Sorry, no substitutions.
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“Aren’t you glad we don’t live in those blue-collar cities we’re screwing over? You can be whatever you want when you grow up, unlike them.”
(And if I’m selected, please give the prize to someone else.)
the comment I want to leave isn’t as politically correct… or well very high brow…
“Saint John: Hanging on like shit on a blanket”
(If I am selected please give my prize to Jeremy…he can spy for us)
Jenny would have pulled the Premier’s tie
A LOT tighter if she had known he was plotting to close down 3 university campuses.
Graham once again meets an intellectual superior. The girl proceeds to ask direct questions such as, “Who has more common sense: you, or a steaming pile of cow dung?” and he swiftly sidesteps answering the question directly. In his disorientation, he teaches another how to needlessly practice strangleholds.
“Santa Claus? Why are you taking our tree away?”
“Why, my sweet little tot,” the fake Santa Claus lied,
there’s a light on your tree that won’t light on one side.
So the tree is off balance and its top has been cleft,
and that makes your tree lean too far to the left.
It gets in the way of energy progress
and interferes with the political process,
and it isn’t an option, that old status quo,
so your old style of tree will just have to go.
I’m taking it home where there’s light in full range
to there undergo transformational change
among clever dwarves who work for me there
and know better than you what you need as your share.
That’s why I’ve a plan, so be of good cheer
I’ll fix it up there, and I’ll bring it back here.”
She was only a child, just barely turned two
but this fake Santa Claus couldn’t fool Cindy Lou.
She screwed up her courage, took aim at this klutz
and she kicked Santa Claus full force in his chestnuts.
Then Cindy Lou smiled as she dusted her hands
and she whistled aloud as she called for her friends
who came in their thousands with ribbons bright red
and they savaged the poodles who pulled Santa’s sled.
They came with their signs, their banners and drums;
they came with their siblings, their fathers and moms
and they left Santa battered and bleeding and red;
they stripped off his coat, ripped the hat from his head,
they pulled off his whiskers and found him a fake;
like his Council of Dwarfs, just another fruitcake.
“You’re not Santa at all,” cried Cindy Lou Who,
“you’re just old Shawn Graham, and you smell like him too.”
“What’s the French for fiddle-de-dee?”
[Okay, I'm entering my own contest:]
“The status … ooph! … quo is … urgh! … not (gasp!) an opt… arrgh!”
“If I close my eyes and smile, maybe this angry protestor will go away.”
Here Mr. Graham, let me fix your tie a little to the left, it seems to be horribly way to the right!!!
And the award goes to Linda Hansen for making the judges laugh out loud, and with the fewest words. Your party card, suitable for framing, is in the mail.
Jeremy, Tudor Wench, Cicciolino and Paul Saulnier all tied for second place.
The “What, me angry?” prize goes to Jaybird, the non-sequitor prize goes to Tess, and the I-learnt-it-from-the-Liberals conflict-of-interest prize goes to Miriam Jones.
A special commendation to Kurt Hansen, but he was ultimately disqualified, in an extremely close vote, for submitting an epic.
But please, although the prize has been awarded, keep submitting captions for the sheer glory of it.
“So where would you like to work when you grow up, little girl? Irving Oil or JDI?”
What does the loser get? TWO Liberal memberships?! Or perhaps their OWN photoshoot with the premier.